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Overcoming The Hurt Of Break-Ups

A relationship begins with dreams. That is why when it breaks, it shatters the partners. The effect of break-up is not same for both the partners, because both are never equally committed to the relationship from the beginning. It is one partner who gives more of himself/herself to make the relationship a great relationship, and it is always the other partner who breaks it, because he/she never had great stake in it. The tragedy is that the partner who commits more always thinks of his/her dreams as the joint dreams but the truth is different. How can such a partner overcome this break-up?

The pain of feeling betrayed is very much to begin with. That is associated with anger on oneself for being so naive. There is anger on the other partner for breaking up. All this makes a person very sad, frustrated and disbeliever in the good qualities of human beings. Suddenly he/she will look at all other human beings as highly unreliable. Constant thought and misery of breaking up and sadness makes the mind so tired, that logical thinking becomes difficult. The pain overwhelms the mind. This phase may continue forever and may lead to physical and emotional breakdown of the person, if help is not sought from counselors immediately. One should talk about everything that happened and be very open without any attempt to distort any fact. This will slowly drain some pain out.

Advising people to join other activity etc. is of no use at most of the times, because everything is very temporary. Unless the sufferer accepts the pain and makes peace with that pain, one will suffer forever. A person can declare - ‘I accept that I am undergoing pain. I agree that I have been cheated. I agree that life may never be the same again. I agree that I may live with my pain forever. I sympathize with myself and I pamper myself. I will try to live as much as I can positively. Rest I will pray and leave to God.’

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