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Telling Truth - When And How?

There are some experts who believe that lies have a role to play in a relationship. For example, if you are getting disinterested in your partner, that truth may hurt your partner so you better keep quiet. Does that help the relationship? The truth is that you are getting disinterested and you must talk about that with your partner in the spirit of love and care and try to arrive at a solution. That may still help the relationship.

Some truths may be difficult to hear. If you have been infidel and now wish to confess to your spouse, how to do that? This has to be done as a confession with full preparation of the after effects. How to do this so that your partner can manage to receive the information without getting too much hurt?

First of all prepare yourself to face the consequences. No use worrying about the effect and shying away from the truth. You will have to listen to the music. Secondly, don’t try to defend yourself. You may give your defense in a gentle manner, but that should not be blame on the partner for your action. In certain circumstances, partners are to be blamed for one’s infidelity, but save this defense for another day.

Don’t pop up the truth without any warning during a busy day. Do it on a day when your partner can get time to absorb what you are saying and has enough time to release his/her anger on you. You also must have enough time for asking forgiveness. Describe what happened and ask for forgiveness. Promise that it will never happen again and apologize. Say sorry for hurting your partner’s feelings and give him/her time to share the shock with some one dear if he/she wants to do that.

Telling truth about something drastic is not easy. You have made a blunder and you must face the results. But do this in a way that does not hurt your partner more than he/she can tolerate. Be compassionate with your partner and put yourself in his/her shoes. How would you react? Be prepared for the same or worse.

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