Before beginning this article, we read a lot about jealousy. We found lot of writing on what is jealousy, why one feels jealous and what can be done about it. All the readings left us confused and dissatisfied. We decided to write our personal views about jealousy without bothering about what any research found out or what is said by a particular branch of psychiatry.

What is jealousy? I love you. You love me. We are partners in love. We have decided to be for each other and be with each other for all the time to come. One fine day, you decide on your own that you would like to go with someone else. You give many reasons, but I feel jealous. That is jealousy. Intense jealousy can result in murders also. Why does one feel jealous? One feels jealous because one loves, and one cares. No one feels jealous about conduct of unknown people. We feel jealous only when our own beloved cheats on us. Somewhere it is written that jealousy is an immature reaction. If jealousy is immature then love is equally so. First stop loving, stop giving any commitment and then you will never face and jealous feelings.

Jealousy is the result of breach of trust. A person who is in intense love will feel intense jealousy and will find it difficult to adjust with his/her life after the breach of trust. We are all human beings and not saints. Saints neither love a person exclusively nor commit themselves to one person. Their love is universal. But ours is not. We may feel compassion for all, but we love only one. When that person cheats on us, we feel jealous and if we are sure of the cheating and if our partner goes away, we feel angry for betrayal of trust.

We feel that there is no way out from the pain of jealousy, or betrayal or the anger that results from breach of trust. The more you have invested in your relationship, the bigger hurt you will experience. Everyone of us who has to face this unfortunate feeling and undergo this trauma will have to find his/her own way, if required with medical help. There are no easy ways out.

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