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Do You Allow Your Partner To Retain Their Identity?

In love many of us have a picture of somebody ideal. We also have some expectations, rather a lot of expectations from our lover. Behavior, upkeep, dressing style, speaking style, hobbies, looks and many such character traits that are personal may get dictated by one lover to another.

This watch does not suit you. Why do you walk with such swagger? It does not look good? Why are you spending so much time talking on telephone? When will you improve your housekeeping? Please improve your dress sense. Look at others, how well they keep themselves. A lover can have his/her own idea about the beloved and try to mould the beloved accordingly. They rob the freedom from their lover. Is that love? Will this be loved and liked by the partner? Will this not affect the relationship?

You fell in love with an individual with many pluses and many minuses. After knowing all of them, you decided to build a relationship. After developing the relationship, you want your lover to change in many ways. Is that not breaking the unspoken promises? By demanding changes, we make our lover feel inferior. By demanding changes, we irritate our lover. We bring down the quality of love. How can you expect to be loved by someone who is getting regular instructions of change from you? You cannot expect love. But many of us do this consciously or unconsciously. We kill the beauty of love by this.

All of us have their freedom to be what they are. We should leave them as they are and focus only on love and relationship. That will help us live a fruitful life that is pleasant.

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