In life, a majority of people do not like to make anybody feel bad. There are of course many exceptions. But a majority want to limit themselves in the boundaries of good behavior. That presents a problem for them, when they need to say No to someone proposing a date, or a second date.

Lets look at this. First, if you are sure that the other person is not your type, there is no use hiding that fact. That will only strain yourself and him/her. The relationship has no future as far as you are concerned and the problem only remains- how to say a firm and polite No.

If you have trained yourself to talk perfectly with all words in the right place, than it becomes difficult for you. For those who speak their mind, this is not a problem at all. They can simply say- sorry, I don’t think I am interested. Those who want to soften the words, there are many other ways. Before we go ahead, let us add something. Some people never say no in any way. They simply avoid telling no, and avoid talking calls, or responding and want the other person to understand that as a no. How far this method is correct is subject to discussion. But this way of sending non-verbal messages certainly strains both the parties unnecessarily.

Coming back to the discussion about how to say a firm and polite no, let us suggest some ideas. You wish that the other person should not feel bad. So take the blame of mis match on yourself. Don’t say anything that is a criticism or negative about the other person. For example – ‘I enjoyed my talk with you, but somehow I feel that I will not fit with you. The fault is entirely mine.’ Appreciate the other person for coffee or nice talk or whatever and say ‘sorry, I don’t think I fit here. I am at fault.’ This way you are keeping your values intact and managing a no. Rather than beating around the bush, claim your freedom to say no in the way you want.