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Divorce - Talk It Out Before Deciding

Divorce looks the best escape from pain of living together. Sometimes the relationship sours to such an extent that the couple begins hating each other. Divorce looks like a heaven sent answer. In some situations, a partner wants to create a new life for himself/herself. He/She feels that there is someone better they deserve or the life of living alone will be better than staying together. There may be different motives for separation, but it always seems that after divorce, life will be better.

What should be done? Should you go ahead and divorce your spouse? What if the situation turns out to be worse for both of you after divorce? Should you not proceed towards divorce only after making sure that it will be good for both of you in the long term. A decision taken in the heat of the moment can probably land you both in worse situations. Why not talk it out before divorce?

Before talking about it, carry out this small exercise. Both you take two sheets of papers and write all that you loved in your partner and on the next sheet, write all that you hate in him/her and your relationship. Exchange the sheets. When you read what your partner loved in you in the beginning, you will feel better and then read what he/she hates in you now. Become an observer and find out dispassionately if there is truth in all that is written. If yes, can you improve? What are the areas in which you can improve and what are the areas that are helplessly beyond you? For example, if your partner hates your habits of keeping things dirty, you can improve, but can do nothing about the shape of your chin if that is also one of the causes. Exchange views point by point on the sheets. Put your cards on the table and ask your partner to put his/her cards on the table. Talk it out. Keep the sheets about what was lovely prominently in focus. That will help melt the ice in talking about dislikes.

Many a times, both of you may realize that you can still carry on without divorce. If yes, continue for some more time and review the situation after some days. Remember love and care for each other can solve many problems. If you still care for your partner as a human being and vice versa, that can carry both of you together for a long distance. Talk it out before deciding about divorce.

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